Formentera, on the bike
Author
Hi, I’m Jordan.
I write this site myself. There’s no editorial team behind me, no SEO agency feeding me drafts, no AI hallucinating beach clubs that closed in 2019. Nine cities, one notebook, the return ticket I tore up sitting on my desk.
Where the project actually is
0 guides published. 9cities live. Zero cover stories I haven’t earned.
This is the early phase. The directory of venues is curated but not yet selling tickets through me; the events feed pulls from the platform but most cities are still finding their inventory. If you landed here looking for fifty hotel-page-style picks of every nightclub in Dubai, you’re early. Come back, or stay through the email and I’ll send the work as it goes up.
What I’m not doing in the meantime: padding the guide count with auto-generated lists, scraping Tripadvisor reviews, or signing the bottom of an “editorial team” email. The site grows when the writing’s real.
A scene from the field
It’s late May. I’m on a rented bike from La Savina, sand still on my legs from a swim at Migjorn, finishing the last half of a Pirata Bus paella out of a paper plate, riding the south coast of Formentera back to the port to catch the 21:00 ferry to Ibiza Town.
Last night was Hï until four in the morning. Tonight is a fish dinner up in Sant Joan. Same week. Both worlds. The “best of Ibiza” lists pretend you have to pick one — you don’t. Most of them don’t even mention Formentera, the half-hour ferry that’s the actual reason the locals haven’t left.
That’s why this site exists. Not as a brand. Not as an editorial team. As one writer with a notebook and a return flight he never used.
“Last night was Hï until four. Tonight is a fish dinner up in Sant Joan. The “best of Ibiza” lists pretend you have to pick one — you don’t.”
Why this exists
Every “best of Dubai” list is wrong.
Time Out. Condé Nast. TripAdvisor. Same fifteen venues every year, same SEO-optimised hotel restaurants, same recycled template from 2019. The recommendations aren’t wrong by accident — they’re curated for someone who isn’t here, by writers who aren’t either.
I built this network because the people who actually live in these cities deserve a better default than the page Google ranks first. One link you can send a friend that’s opinionated, named-venue specific, anti-tourist-trap, anchored to this year. Nine cities now share that notebook.
What I learned the hard way: writing the same article every other publication has already written gives Google nothing it doesn’t already have. So this site picks fights. Some beach clubs that everyone calls iconic are tourist traps. Some small bars no list mentions are better than the venues with booking-fee margins. The job is to say which is which, specifically, in euros.
How I pick what makes the list
Five rules. No exceptions.
In person where I can
Cities I've spent time in get first-person editorial. Cities I haven't get research-led editorial that's flagged as such on every guide. No pretending.
Specific in euros and named venues
No 'a great spot in the old town'. The recommendation is the venue's actual name, the actual address, the actual price range. If I can't be specific, I don't recommend.
Anti-tourist-trap on principle
If a venue's reputation is held up entirely by a bus-tour pipeline, it doesn't make the list, regardless of what they pay. Locals' venues, opening parties locals attend, post-2 AM places that aren't on the airport-Uber loop.
Editorial separate from advertising
Listings can pay for Featured / Promoted placement on the directory pages — those are clearly labelled. The editorial guides are not for sale. A venue paying for placement does not get a guide written about it; if I write a guide that mentions a paying venue, the disclosure is on the page.
Updated, not eternal
The 2026 site only carries 2026 recommendations. When something closes, changes hands, or shifts season — the site reflects that within days. Old guides get updated stamps; outdated recommendations get pulled.
What “research-led” means
When I haven’t been on the ground in a city, the guide is built from a fixed protocol — not vibes, not GPT, not scraped review aggregates:
At least three locals on record
Anonymous review counts get ignored. I source from operators, residents, and friends-of-friends who actually go to the venues. Names redacted in the public guide unless they want the credit; on file otherwise.
Cross-checked against the calendar
A Spanish summer venue in Mykonos isn't the same as a Greek one. Every recommendation is checked against this year's local calendar — opening week, festival weeks, off-season patterns — so the guide isn't accidentally selling something that closes in October.
Flagged on the page
Every research-led guide carries a "Research-led" badge inline. The visited-vs-research split is visible to the reader before they take any of it as gospel.
Replaced when I get there
Research-led is a stop-gap, not a strategy. When I'm on the ground in the city, the guide gets re-written first-person within a week — and the old version stays in the changelog so you can see what changed.
Where I’ve actually been
Most travel sites pretend the writer’s been everywhere. I won’t lie to you about it. The cities below with the warm border are the ones I’ve actually been on the ground in this trip. Everything else is research-led, flagged on every guide, and getting a first-person rewrite the moment I land.
- Ibiza— in person, this trip
- Formentera— in person, this trip
- Mykonos · Madrid · Barcelona · Paris · Lisbon · Athens · London · Dubai— research-led, coming city by city
What I write about in Dubai
The openings worth a flight. The tourist traps worth swerving. The restaurants worth crossing the island for. What locals do after the tourists have gone home.
Across price points, deliberately. The best €4 pintxo bar and the €600 sunset table at the same beach club, both covered, both worth knowing. Anti-tourist-trap is not anti- premium — it’s anti-derivative. If a place is worth what it charges, that’s the recommendation; if it’s charging because of a bus-tour pipeline, it isn’t.
Until I’m on the ground in Dubai, every guide here flags itself as research-led. Read it accordingly. First-person notes come when I get there.
What I won’t do
What this site isn’t.
- No marketplace markup. Tickets link straight to the venue’s checkout, you pay them, not me.
- No undisclosed paid placements. Featured / Promoted listings are clearly labelled inline; editorial guides are not for sale.
- No SEO content farm. The guides are written, not generated. The byline says “Jordan” because I wrote them.
- No tourist-trap pipeline. If a venue’s reputation is held up by bus tours, it doesn’t make the list, regardless of what they pay.
- No fake reviews. Nothing on this site is a review traded for a free meal or a discount; if a venue gave me anything, the disclosure is on the page.
- No data resale. Your email isn’t shared, listings data isn’t sold to brokers, the only ads you’ll ever see are the labelled Featured / Promoted slots.
“Editorial isn’t for sale. A venue paying for placement does not get a guide written about it.”
Push back
Recommend a venue. Tell me I got it wrong. Send a better one than what I’ve listed. I’d rather hear it.
How this works: tickets are sold direct by venues via TicketWave, paid placements are clearly labelled, and the full disclosure is here.